I dreamed of you last night. I felt the tickle of your beard on my forehead the way I always did when you were on your way out the door to work. I could smell your deodorant, a smell so familiar and comfortable. You sat on the edge of the bed and told me you weren’t working today; it was me and you time because we had lots to catch up on.

I dreamed of you last night. You took my hand in yours as we walked along and I could feel the callouses, so familiar and comfortable. You asked about the kids. How were they doing? What had they been up to? Normally Mr Chatty, this time you seemed content to let me rattle. Somewhere in my subconscious I knew our time was short so I tried to cram in as much of the last four years as I could. 

I dreamed of you last night. I rested my head on your shoulder, so familiar and comfortable. I felt protected, safe, loved. It was like you had never gone at all. It reminded me that the simplest things in life are the most valuable, the seemingly innocuous and if I could have stayed there, my head on your shoulder I would have.

I dreamed of you last night. Somehow, as only you can in a dream, we went to all of our favourite places, so familiar and comfortable. We laughed and you reminded me that you were the funniest man I know, proving once again that not only were you Mr Right, but your first name is “Always”! 

I dreamed of you last night. You told me you had to go and said “love you girl” as you wiped the tears from my face, familiar and comfortable. I begged you to stay, if not forever, just a little bit longer. You told me you had to go, in the same way I dreamed you did the day after you died. Through tears falling like rivers down my face I said it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t long enough but you kissed my forehead, familiar and comfortable, and told me you’d be waiting for me.

I dreamed of you last night, familiar and comfortable and realised the irony once again that the sleep which so easily evades me is now the only place I can go to now to be together. And once again I know, so familiar and comfortable, that I will love and miss you my whole life.

Always & forever……